“It’s Not Me, It’s You” and Other Reasons Why Breaking Up Sucks

I’ve never been good at breaking up.

My last attempt went down sophomore year of college after I had been wanting to end it for about a month. Did I give any hints? Did I try to talk it out? Nope. I waited until I lost a game of Kinect Adventures! to the man in question, gave him a high five and dropped a “we need need to talk” bomb in the middle of his living room.

Sorry bro.

It’s the whole confrontation thing. I hate it and always have. At any and all opprotunities I avoid it like the plague. A lot of the times rejection is just as bad when you’re the rejector as the rejectee. The long face, tears, the occasional lip quiver- I can’t take it! One time I even went as far as try to be as obnoxious as possible to Jedi-mind trick another one to do the dirty work (side note: didn’t work. Ended it via phone. Shameful)

But with graduation comes a pair of big girl pants and yesterday I had to use them. I had to turn down my first job offer.

WHAT THE WHA??

During the interview, we hit it off. I liked what they were putting down and everyone at the Binghamton station reminded me of some very cool people in the industry I’ve met along the way.

However, it was just under 40 hrs/week enough that no benefits tagged along with it and I couldn’t physically (as well as mentally, emotionally..) afford to up-root and plant myself beyond the Catskills.

Binghamton Scenery. That fact that I only Instagrammed one picture from the whole trip is in itself a red flag.

A valuable lesson learned though- as someone trying to break into a competitive industry, it’s tempting to jump at the first sign of interest from a station (or network, or office or wherever your dream job might sit you). Hell, I nearly had a panic attack once I heard the voicemail saying I got the position. My heart wasn’t in it and knew better than my head that it just wasn’t a good fit. I had to put them down easy.

Of course, with any break up comes the rippling thoughts of “you’ll never find anything better,” “you should call them right now and beg for them to take you back,” “you’re going to die alone, surrounded by cats,” etc. It’s all a game of mind over matter however (except for that last one, that’s always a possibility).

I’m no scientist/psychologist/have any credentials to make any correct statement, but your gut always seems to know what’s right and in this situation, I’m going with it.

So the search continues. Bring on the carb and Hugh Grant movie binge.

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